Fake boob thoughts

Why are men so fascinated with fake boobs? I mean come on they are FAKE! They feel fake. If that is what you want then fine....go and buy a love doll or a manequin.They usually look really fake or are so ridiculously large and out of proportion to the woman’s body. But because we cannot think for ourselves and only listen to what is force-fed to us by the ad agencies, the general public thinks that implants are great. Well guess what? THEY ARE NOT! I am a heterosexual male. I am a professional makeup artist and do a lot of body painting and body casting. I have worked with all types of women and seen a wide variety of breasts and you know what… I HATE BREAST IMPLANTS. I could go on here and rant on about how I feel about implants. I could talk about the one young lady who got implants and lost all feeling in her nipples. I could discuss how touching them was like feeling a softball, which to me is not a fun item to feel when compared to a natural breast. No, I want to just express how I think that people cannot think for themselves. We use to think the girl next door was gorgeous, now she has to have 38 D as a bra size before we even give her a side ways glance. Why is that? What’s wrong with smaller breasts? What happened to the thought that a natural non-medically enhanced body was a thing of beauty? Well sometime ago we started listening to what we were told to like. We stopped actually thinking for ourselves. We stopped liking things that we really liked and started to believe what we were told to like. We have become cattle that are led to whatever item the agencies want us to buy into. Think about it for a moment, what was the “look” a year ago, or for that matter six months ago. Awhile-back women had to be stick thin, then they had to be rock hard, and now they all have to have big boobs. Come on people start thinking for yourselves. What do you really want your girlfriend or wife to look like or feel like? Do you want someone that is beautiful now and will age and continue to be beautiful or do you want someone that will always need to go to the body shop to have the dents hammer out and be fiber glassed over the bad spots. I mean it… after someone starts with all these beauty enhancement treatments they have to continue to do it or the rest of their life. So it really is like taking your car into the shop to get overhauled. How many times can that be done before it really has no positive effect? Look at certain celebrities who have had a lot of work done. They really are scary and getting worse. Look at classic items of beauty; they continue to grow more beautiful. The same thing goes for humans. Why mess with your body by stuffing things that you do not need to be there into your body? Ladies stay the way you are. You do not have to add anything to yourselves. You are fine the way you are. Do not let mass media tell you how to look. Just let your natural beauty show. And guys stop buying into what is being told to you by the mass media. Think. Look at the women around you. Look at them all and figure out what you really like and want. Do not let the ad agencies make up your mind for you. Come on everyone think for yourself.

You can't play Russian Roulette w/ a semi-automatic

What a concept…. You really cannot play Russian roulette with a semi automatic ….I have seen people who have tried. Why is it that when one is in the depths of despair, a person will stop thinking logically? All thoughts that a person has that would make sense just disappear. They become babbling idiots. Face it we all do. In that time people lose reason and turn to fear. We all have fears and when things get tough they come to full life. The inner demons come out and they start talking. The demons start to help you out. They begin to fill your head with all types of perverse thoughts. That’s when the guns come in. That’s when the despair gets to the deepest that they can. A person begins to think of ending it all. I have gotten to that point. I have seen where my demons live and what they can do to me. I seem to always mess things up when it gets bad. People around me never seem to really understand. I have fears associated with so many things and some of them are very serious. I cannot explain all of them clearly as I would like to but I seem never to find the right words. I seem to scare people when they learn about my fears… I have a few strange ones. The biggest problem with all of the fears and worries is that they can push people away, or worse yet make you push people away. I have a serious problem with that. I do not want to. I really don’t. See the problem occurs because I never want to hurt the people closest to me. I try to protect them and then it just seems to get out of hand. I lose control. The demons take over and start to tell me it would be better for the person to stay away from me instead of trying to get them to understand. I hate hurting people. At the same time, I do not want to lose that person; I want to keep them close to me. I want them to be in my life for a very long time. I fear now that I may have done really wrong this time. I feel like I have picked up the semi automatic, and gotten ready to play. I feel like I have pushed to far. I feel like I have not explained well enough what my demons do to me. I have not been able to rightfully atone for what my demons already have done; not only to me but also to the one I care for. I doubt that anyone will really understand this but I wanted to try. I wanted to think and figure out where my life is going. I want to know where my relationship is going. I fear that I have taken things to far and now I will lose everything I have ever wanted. So with the proverbial gun in hand it seems time for me to pull the trigger. I have no choice. I have to hope that she will actually understand. I have to hope that she unloaded the gun.
I hope I get to stay with her. I hope we are okay. I hope it works out this time. I just hope.

Why reality ends here.

I never thought I would actually do this. I never thought that someone would ever want to read the rantings and ravings of my twisted little mind. Yet, someone talked me into it. I have always thought that what came out of my mind was a little strange at times, and other times it makes sense and takes a stand about this that or some other thing. I am a creative person who likes to think outside the box, and so believe in making the imagined real. The only way I have been able to do that is by accepting that reality ends here. I am going to let my mind go and see what pours out of it. What manner of entity oozes from this scared and scarred mind of mine. Not all things will be creative and light, I am sure some will seem dark and destructive. BUt remember that it is what I have imagined, what has appeared in my mind so without further adieu I welcome you into my mind.