Reality Ends Here

Name:

I am Shadow Dancer. I have been referred to as a healer, medicine man and shaman. But I only see myself as someone in touch with what is going on around him and can listen with clarity to what the world and nature is saying. I wish to share this with all.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Moonlit kisses

She lay there in my arms, eyes closed. Her pale skin glowing in the moonlight. I loved sitting with her in the bathing rays of the moon. I looked to the window and watched as darkness crept toward the reflective orb. I knew our time was growing short. I looked to her again. I missed looking into those eyes. It had not been long but seemed like eons. I ran a finger over her cheek, the porcelain smoothness sending chills to my spine. Her lips still rosy from the lipstick she wore today. Her dark hair tumbling around my lap in loose teasing curls. Twisting a curl round my finger, I smile a little to sardonically. I catch my self and stroke her face again. I glance down her body, the trim white lace top failing to hide her charms. The curve of her breast accentuated by the shadows. Looking further, I notice her legs as the make their way from her skirt. I reach down and stroke her calf and slowly make my way up past her dimpled knee. Caressing her thigh, I check to make sure I have not disturbed her. Her eyes still closed. I knew they would be. The night grows darker and I lift her carefully… I lay her down gently on the pillow and make sure she is comfortable. I watch her, study every feature. I lean in very slowly and kiss her lips. No movement. I smile .. and slowly shut the coffin lid.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Whispers of fiends

I was alone. Alone and once again in pain. The wounds were all gaping and seeping. My shirt clung to my body. Drenched in my lifeforce it was little protection.
I was drifting, losing the fight to remain alert. I called out for help, for some assistance. None came. My friends were gone. Family miles from here. My lover missing. They had taken her from me. Forced her from my arms. Droplets of blood fell from my fingertips. Joining the ever growing puddle at my feet. I never saw them coming. They just seemed to appear next to me. They circled around me. Three of them. Walking around me, they actully seemed to glide in and out of my view. I asked who they were.
"friends" they whispered. I looked closely at them, searching for some recognition, something that would make me see somone I knew. Nothing. No discernable features. "we are here to help you" the sound drifted to my ears. They continued, " Do not worry, all will be fine. She is in good hands. You know she is. Someone will be there with her. They always show when they are needed. They are always there when she needs them. You know that. They will help her. They will make her happy. If you do not believe us, go and check. We know. We know since we have been there. We were like you. It happened to us. It created us."
I screamed my protest. I screamed that she was differant. I screamed that she would not forget me. I cried that she would be back for me. I sobbed that she would remember and find me.
"Are you sure?" they hissed.
"She has forgotten," they continued, "She is not there. She is being taken care of. You know that. She is busy. We will show you. We will take you there." They took me by the arms and lifted me up. We slithered throough the crowds unnoticed. We crept up the stairs and to her door. "Knock. We will show you." I gently knocked, waiting for her answer. "See," they hissed. I knocked again.
Silence from within.
I pounded, my fists leaving dark black red crescents in their wake. Sliding down the door I watched as each red crescent started to cry. So did I. They lifted me up. "Come with us. We will help you understand." They led me to the roof. They showed me my world. "See this is the world. The world you created. You made this all happen. You made it all happen to you. You caused it. You are the reason for all the pain. You drive her away. You make her fear. You make her hurt. So others will be there for her. She is young. She will be fine. There are the others."
I cried. I crumbled to the ground growing weaker. I told them that she loves me. I explained how differant it was. What we had is unique and beyond their scope of understanding. They were not there when we met. They did not know what we had between us. They did not look into her eyes as I did. They had not seen the future in those eyes. They could not understand the thrill of feeling her hand in mine.
They could not know.
"But we do know," they hissed, " We have been there. She is as beautiful as any, more beautiful. She is talented,smart and witty. She is the dream that you have always wanted. Where is she now? She is surrounded by the others. She is with one now. We know that and so do you."
I pleaded for them to take me to her.
I pleaded.
I begged.
Let me see her. I need to see her. I need to talk to her.
No sound from the three. No motion. Images floated through my vision. Ghosts of the past. No .. ghosts of my past. Taunting me. Closing in on me. Their words cutting me like the knives before. I bled more. I became aware of the puddle below my feet. I bellowed at them to take me to her . They lifted me once again and took me to her door yet again.
I pounded.
nothing...
i beat the door ... blood sliding down to the floor...
nothing.
I cried out for her.
Nothing......
I looked to the wall.
I moved to the blank wall. I started writing.I had to leave her a message. I wrote in my blood. She had to find me.
She had to get to me before it was to late.
I knew she would.
I knew she would. ....
I hoped she would. ....
Would she?
They laughed. I collapsed.
It was ending.
I knew it. I could feel it. The life was ebbing from me. IT was almost gone. I could hear her now. She was with another. She was in the others arms. I tried to cry but could not. I screamed as i felt everything I cared for being ripped from me...
I turned to the three and hissed. .............
I was with them. The three was now four. I hated them for what they did to me but knew I would soon do the same. We floated there above what was left of me.
She came up the stairs.
She came home and found my remains. She cried. She wanted me back she begged to the heavens. She saw the bloody note on the wall. The three had not read it... they tried to keep her from reading it. They were helpless. She stood and read. The three started to writhe in agony. She continued to read and they screamed in pain. She sobbed as she read the last line and smiled. The three were bleeding great torrents of life force.
I was there watching.
I was there winning.
I had become the greatest inflictor of pain.
I was tormenting my tormentors.
I would go on.
And they ,with each word, faded to nothing... she stood and read again..... "My Darling one. I have learned what torment is and have suffered for it. I can not go back and undo what has happened to me and now suffer the cuts I have caused. Some Have tried to make me doubt you. Some have whispered lies to me. Some have shown me how you could be untrue to me. And I, like a fool, listened to it all. I know now that this is all untrue. I hope that you will always remember that I trust you and love you. Remember that you are my dream. I will always be yours. Never listen to the whisper of fiends. I love you and will do so throughout all eternity."

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Can you help me?

“How can I help you?” she asked.

“How can you help me? I am not sure; I think that I may be beyond help really. I am not sure. All I really need is for someone to just listen to me when I am in a bad mood or depressed…. mostly when I am stressed and pissed off usually. Is that so hard? Just listen…. I will rant for a while…I may even yell but it won’t be at you…. it is me yelling at the world… the unfair, cold, cruel, unjust world. I need to get it out of me or else I will sit there and internalize it and let it fester…. It will slowly and quietly eat at me, but if I have to I will…I do not want to burden you or anyone with my problems…after all they are my problems not yours…. You just want to help…but then there is my past … my fucked up past…and I live with the scars of all those psychological wars with others and myself… I just want someone different. …Someone that really does listen …does not judge and does not belittle me or my feelings… I know what I may say when I am in a bad mood sounds petty and stupid but at the time to me it is a big deal… a big life halting deal…. After I rant I will realize that it is just something that will pass, or something really stupid…. But for a while it will mean a lot to me…. I will want to fight the world … I will want to change space and time… I will want to be the outlaw that does good by destroying something…. how can you help me… just understand me…. Just try ….I am not hard to read sometimes… I just need to be read and listened to like a book on tape or cd… I want to be loved and understood a little….I am weird and I know it but I do like to be heard sometime…I am a small voice in the universe and most of the time feel smaller still…I am attacked and made to feel inferior… my talents questioned…I just need a little reassurance or challenge to make me see otherwise…make me see what I can do ….. what I have as my odd talent… create a dream or nightmare… make reality end for me… help me make my dreams come true for me and my love… make it all become something beyond belief… help me realize how happy I can be….just love me for who I am….. just little ol’ insignificant, insane, dreaming, me.”

She looked at me for a moment.

I continued, “oh and chili cheese fries and a coke to go.”

http://www.hit-counter-download.com/digital-html-hit-counter.html The pen is mightier than the blade.